A forever work in progress

1st A woman opens a passenger car door and recoils with a loud shriek and then laughs hysterically. Clearly she wasn't expecting someone to be sat In there and not helped by the car picking her up having been sat in darkness  Late at night a man walks down a deserted street carrying a boom box pumping out Mexican music loudly. As he walks past my line of sight I do wonder if I'm in the middle of a cheese dream  3rd The blind on a front window is only pulled down about 80% of the way, behind which is sat a woman sporting a towel wrapped around her head sitting side portrait motionless like a bizarre horizontal work of art A man walks across a car park in the dark looking down at the phone in his hand and impales himself on a gate which must be a good four feet high. Untangling himself he walks through the exit looking straight at me where I'm desperately trying to keep a straight face and not burst out laughing  A couple are walking around the outskirts of town at 2215 des...

1st A heron flies just low enough beneath the horizon of a hill so that I'm being treated to the bizarre sight of the top of its wings appearing and disappearing like it's communicating in morse code as it heads on its way and breaks the sunlight behind it  Five squirrels clamber up the trunk of a centuries old oak tree giving rise to the question of how many exactly could it house in its giant structure? A fox runs out from some bushes up a steep road leading to a farm and stops dead in its tracks and looks at me. By the time my bag is off my shoulder reaching for my camera it has jumped down a ditch, clambered up the other side and almost out of sight across the field opposite. You'll sadly have to take my word for it. A woman walks down a hill clutching a large white wire heart to her chest. All around the rest of town people are dressed in Halloween garb. Either she's eight and a half months late or 3 and a half months too early. Interestingly the man she's with...

2nd  A bald man sprints along a path giving himself a pep talk as he goes in the dark. He startles two muntjacs that had been hidden in the dark next to a carpark wall who bolt like teenage shoplifters at the sight of a security guard. A couple in their 30s walk their collie who has a collar that changes colour like its a mobile disco light and its shooting all over the place. The man is smoking the most pungent weed and I start to wonder if maybe the poor dog is high  Within twenty minutes I've walked past three people all smoking weed and I'm starting to feel queasy at the vile smell. It's like someone in Morocco has been compacting camel shit and selling it as resin  Sometimes in life you get to see behind the curtains. In supermarkets Easter eggs get delivered during the 12 days of Christmas. Time is money and time waits for no man as the farmers testify to with the fields ploughed and resowed within 24 hours Three snails are all touching each other like they've in ...

1st A learner driver indicates right to pull into the left hand kerb which is slightly worrying  In the valley the sound of a fighter jet punching it's way through the air on a loop can be heard but it's source never seen or maybe the God's have been angered  8 people of equal sexes are dressed in jogging gear stood still on the edge of a road. There seems to be something missing from this particular running club. It'll come to me  3rd From a tall tree battered to and throw by strongs winds a flock of crows fly out as if being catapulted. Each wave of birds struggles to move forward and finds itself pushed back yet somehow they all start to make progress albeit looking more like they're doing a bumblebee dance  I let go of an audible gasp as a badger shoots out the long grass no more than 15 foot away, crosses my path and vanishes into more long grass as quickly as it had appeared. As always no one about to tell what I'd seen when I'm genuinely excited  4th...

The morning sun that had stroked his face and brought him comfort like a caring mother pacifying a small child had vanished behind a bank of thick clouds. He changed his course of direction from south to east and as he continued his journey he began to climb higher onto more open ground. By the time he'd reached its highest point his body was being buffered by a bitter wind with all the chill of a woman scorned at the altar by a man who'd run off with her younger sister. The type of weather carried over thousands of kilometres from regions such as Siberia which the Russians scientists would lay claim to being a secret nerve agent given half the chance, the sort that turns your nose on like a tap and running like the engine of a getaway car outside a bank. That's not the only waterworks it turns on, it'll infect your bladder leaving you pissing like a racehorse but only after your frozen fingers have fumbled with the buttons on your jeans like a 15 year old virgin about ...

Matthew moved his head to the right so he was now looking directly at Katie who had just spent the best part of two minutes looking at his side profile whilst he'd desperately attempted to look anywhere in the room but at her. He could see her eyes were at breaking point from the well of sadness that lives permanently inside her waiting for the next storm to push her water table over the edge. Mathew was the black cloud that so often caused the floods and carnage that followed the storm. He didn't purposely mean to do so, it was like he carried with him great Shakespearean tragedies in his armoury and Katie was the most susceptible of types to each and every one. Instantly upon seeing the hopelessness etched on her face he felt guilty and went back to looking anywhere but at Katie. He thought he'd try the floor some more, that seemed as good a spot as any. It made him feel less vulnerable, like looking up could somehow leave him open to an unexpected attack. Somewhere burie...

“Ahhhh Simon!” Nick exclaimed a little too overzealously for some of those sat in close proximity who had first looked at Nick in annoyance, then at Simon whose cheeks had begun to redden before returning to what they'd been doing as if nothing had ever happened.  “I was beginning to think you were a no show.” “Nick! Hi. I'm so sorry I couldn't find anywhere to park the blasted motor. No where has pay and display machines anymore, just signs to download and use a bloody app. I mean for pity's sake, by the time you've sorted out the sodding thing you could have done whatever it was you came to do and left again.” “Well you're here now, no harm done. Apart from the parking fiasco all well and good? How's erm..” Nick slid a finger under the collar of his shirt and gave it a tug unable to disguise the unease that quickly washed over him as he forgot the name of Simon's latest squeeze. “Annabel.” Nick slapped his forehead with the palm of his right hand. “Ann...