1st
Corn on the cob stands erect and exposed at a height and manner that if you were a parent with a child at the same eye level you may be tempted to shield its eyes from the view 
80% through a can of Pepsi the gas escapes far too loud for a person of my size and I find myself being stared at by a dozen or more sheep who all stopped eating and their heads shot up at the noise.
A toddler with only his bottom teeth pushed through gives his best toothy grin at me as he charges out from where he's been hiding in a giant field of corn on the cob
2nd
A woman rolls off a steep driveway in a little red car rather too quickly, straight across the road and onto the path opposite and looks like she's about to roll onto the neighbours drive before she remembered where the brakes were and comes to an abrupt halt. It reminds me of a real life version of rolling toy cars down a hill as a child and seeing which one made it furthest.
A woman wears shorts and a matching shirt which look like they're made from men's pyjamas. I wonder if she's incredibly adept as a tailor and seamstress or just has an obscure taste in clothes
A little girl of about 7 is perfectly balanced whilst fully crouched down atop a concrete gas marker watching the world go by like a kingfisher sat on a branch ready to leap up and fly away if only she had the wings
Early afternoon and a man is asleep stretched out on a bench with a bag under his head for a pillow
A man in a flat cap is stood behind a toddler ascending a wooden climbing frame. He's staring into the distance and paying no attention to the safety of the child. On another frame a woman is helping a toddler on a chain bridge holding his hand as he moves unsteadily across. She lets go of his hand and walks around to the bottom of the slide and he has a complete meltdown suddenly feeling very exposed and vulnerable
A woman talks loudly on the phone. She says the words nick it but in her strong Suffolk accent it sounds more like nick urt.
A man in a formal shirt and trousers is on his knees in his garden with a phone in his hand. Perhaps saying his prayers for his horse in the 12.45 at Goodwood
Late night and a woman in her 20s is using her car interior light and rear view mirror to apply her lipstick oblivious to the fact she's in the equivalent of an illuminated goldfish bowl deep in concentration
Four teens are sat on a curb. Three lads are facing forward, the girl on the end looking down the row. If she's looking for hope, inspiration or semblance of a plan she might be looking in the wrong place
A man tries to throw a half full water bottle in the side hole of a bin from a distance of 15 feet. It smashes into the body with a loud clang and wasn't even close to going through the small gap.
A group of four, equally divided into both sexes are walking up a hill. One of the women recommends a Thai restaurant they pass to which one of the men says you're always talking about food you're obsessed, which she denies whilst holding onto a takeaway talking about food.
A woman is all dressed up with nowhere to go. Her handbag, shoes and dress are all perfectly coordinated. Under the latter is what can be politely described as her being in possession of a lot of junk in her trunk and she's swaying unsteadily from side to side as she walks in the road. I'd say she's had a couple of sherbets and that's the reason why but it could equally be the weight of her ample posterior that is rhythmically swaying from left to right that's causing the imbalance.
Deep in concentration I've not noticed a man to my right walking in the dark who sounds like he might have hocked up a lung as he coughs and startles me so much I nearly threw my phone out of my hand
3rd
An attractive paramedic drives an ambulance past me. Had it been stationary I'd have made an excuse for her to check my pulse. I imagine a lot of wives during an emergency are amazed their husbands suddenly perked up if she's the first responder
A large VW van drives past with a massive black and white checkers board on the front making it look like a giant Boavista home kit. As niche references go that's right up there
A good mile in the distance on the horizon a huge dust bowl whips across the land like a dystopian future. An organ playing the last few keys of a hymn adds to the spectacle perfectly albeit ominously
A muslim couple are walking through a park. He's shovelling ice cream into his mouth whilst she's wearing a burka. I'm hoping it's because she doesn't like ice cream
A little girl sits on the floor and has a baby put in between her legs whilst she's asked to smile for a photo but the only look on her face is one of utter bemusement
A classic open top MG has an innovative way of keeping the rain off with a black and red umbrella sat covering the hole. You imagine their plan will go to pot if the wind picks up 
A lamb stops eating and stares at me with long grass protruding from either side of its mouth like giant whiskers
A few hundred yards away you can see the rain falling in large streaks from dark grey clouds. As I get closer I'm able to ascertain the point I'll get wet. Anyone with sense would have merely stood at the first point and not moved. A little rain never hurt anybody.
2247 hours and the only people still up and out walking are me and the hedgehogs and that's how I like it. Not sure the hedgehog who ducks down and pretends he's not seen me when I say hello felt the same way mind you
4th
In a window sits a carved wooden sausage dog upon which sits a Santa Hat. It's August the fourth. Just no!
Rain falls in sheet after sheet like a giant hand is shaking the water out like dust from a mat. I've made friends with an acorn tree some 80ft plus in height and with more than ample girth to keep me dry stood underneath
To the north just the faintest parts of a rainbow can be seen in small delicate chunks like they've been photoshopped in on a 20% transparency and someone has started to erase them and then forgot they were ever there
From beyond the horizon a dark grey cloud gives the illusion it is rising like static smoke from a fire, its colour dark and ominous
A woman stands in the middle of the road as a man begins to walk away, she looks crestfallen and close to tears. He walks back, touches her face and says it's OK when it clearly looks anything but. My money's on a breakup. I have that fatherly instinct to wrap my arms around her. I'd also point out she's way out of his league and it'll be his loss not hers
A teenage boy sporting an afro and a plain white muscle top rides a bike looking like his fashion inspiration was lifted straight from the opening level of Grand Theft Auto
2211 hours and two men are snapping the local landmarks. One hands the other man his phone and poses pointing to a red phone box with a grin on his face like he just won the lottery
2226 hours and flowers in hanging baskets adorning the second floor of buildings burst with life enjoying the cooler night air and a day of rain
Two young women in a car park film themselves from a phone on the floor doing a ring-a-roses giggling their heads off all the while
5th
Out of a Mini Cooper step two teenage girls in black tops and matching yellow pyjama bottoms followed closely behind by another teenage girl in pink pyjama bottoms. All three are wearing white crocs. I feel like I've stepped into a bizarre parallel universe as they walk off down the path
Dusk and in the sky to the west hundreds of tiny ripples like a giant hand had left finger prints. By the time I've gone upstairs to get my camera and come back outside they've all vanished.
6th
A ginger cat walks out into the road in front of an electric car. It didn't turn its head suggesting it was either a lack of engine noise or a mistaken belief that it's the King of the road
A woman in her mid 40s is stood by the side of the road in running gear waiting for a car to pass. I've got my headphones in so maybe I missed the starter pistol but BANG off she flew like a rocket down the road as if the driver had given her the middle finger and she was determined to catch them up
7th
9.15 in the morning and the neighbours kids are arguing and the Dad has tried to phrase the same threat half a dozen ways to no avail. It's going to be a long day for him as I shut the door on the noise
The gold kissed tops of clouds break into Stabilo Pink trails of wonder. There are few things I love more in life than a sunset
A man walks with a torch strapped to his head like he's just walked out of a minors pit. He's fortunate we're not in a mine with a shovel to hand otherwise someone might pummel him with it as he blinds everyone with a bright light shining in their face at eye level. People's stupidity knows no bounds
Vapour trails from three planes are illuminated by the light of the moon forming a giant H in the sky. Either that or a rugby post and someone's got the wrong shaped ball to try to kick for a conversion.
8th
A small boy asks a woman a question to which she responds "I'll be honest mate I've absolutely no idea what you're talking about." I hold my chuckle in until I'm past and out of ear shot
Two paragliders about a kilometre apart look like they're in the worst Bond chase scene ever made
Four cabbage whites fly over a corn field like they're having an acid trip. Or maybe I'm the one having the trip?
9th
I walk through a field in which a dozen or more swallows zip past me at times no more than a foot from the ground. It's a completely mesmerising experience
I feed my inner six year old as I watch a combine harvester at work in a wheat field. He can barely contain his excitement as a tractor and trailer show up and joins the process. It's like a father and son moment in the same body
Two little dinks on training bikes are having a race so I step off the path and onto the grass to let them both pass. The older boy says hello, I tell them they're doing great and the smaller one says hello and thankoo like it's one word and he's got a blocked up nose
During a break in a game of cricket one man is stood on the boundary furthest to the club house and is shouting something indistinguishable which makes me look over. Despite not being able to hear him I could clearly see him swing a golf club and send a huge lump of turf flying
A woman has a horse on a very long lead and is encouraging it to jump a fence no more than a foot and a half high. It slowly trots up and stops and then finally goes over it like a pensioner tip toeing barefoot into the north sea. I imagine if anyone ever got me on a horse that would be my type of horse. That's OK buddy we can just walk past them all or stop. Either or
10th
In the east the man in the moon looks like he's whistling. Nothing to see here, move along. Except he's lying. He looks magnificent and resplendent in pale orange
10th
Half a dozen females crowd around a big cock. #FarmLife
The countryside in all its glory shimmers through the ground heat
In the grounds of a church two American Women are loudly talking about a man being a dick. Good Lord ladies there's time and a place - a time, and a place
Bird mess on the pavement resembles the Air Jordan logo #SlamDunk
"You know my Mum? She's literally a non-stop swearer." A young boy of about 11 overheard talking to a man and woman.
A man in his 60s pulls up in a white BMW Z4 which is the peak of modern chic styling. On his head a Mapei cycling hat you'd have seen pro riders wear in the late 80s early 90s. Definitely not chic modern styling
A young boy in khaki green carries a matching Rucksack, first aid kit, a rolled up package which could be a tent or a sleeping bag and a ski pole. I'd love to know what he's preparing for. Perhaps the end of the world really is nigh
Village cricket in full swing. The wicket keeper dives and a cloud of dust spews up. My old body aches just watching the action take place on rock solid ground
A cyclist has a wide helmet on upon which sits a row of white lights on the front and two red flashing lights on the back. He has in addition bike lights on both the front and back, he's also wearing a luminous jacket to reflect light. He's riding the wrong side up the wrong way on a one way street. Oh. So much for being safety conscious. He's also just come from a Police Station. Define irony
11th
A woman with a lead walks a dog 80 metres before realising her dog has gone on strike and has no intention of moving from where it's laying on the path in a cooler spot of shade and has to walk all the way back to cajole it
A large curly haired white dog bounds towards me and loves me a startle. A woman assures me it's friendly to which I pointed out its the fact it squeaked like a rubber duck that threw me
I was impressed by the moon last night but it's truly peacocking in style tonight in its complete harvest moon glory
Through the window of a ground floor town house a man is sat watching TV with one foot up, short sleeve shirt unbuttoned with an exposed belly you'd maybe find on a woman carrying triplets. Curtains would be a marvellous idea.
A VW parked on a pavement is missing its badge. Even after 40 years my first thought is still always of the Beastie Boys
12th
It might be the summer sun but several of the lambs are looking horny. That'll see if you've got a dirty mind or grew up in the countryside
13th
0035 and a female owl screeches at in incredible volume like a wife finally losing her rag at her husband not lifting his weight and the male replied with a hoot which sounded like - oh bollocks I'm in the dog house under its breath.
I've found a kindred spirit in the form of a duck that has ether hurt its right leg like myself or just so happens to have one leg incredibly shorter than the other as it basically bounces it's right side off the floor as it tries to walk
An emergency vehicle has the name Cailtin 2 printed on the door which gets the question what happened to Caitlin 1? Did 2 replace 1? Are there 2 Caitlins and if so how do they feel about each other? Does 2 hope to take the mantle of 1?
14th
An in patient is in fine fettle as he rattles off his name, address, DOB and list of interests before asking the receptionist if this was speed dating
Several hand painted signs have appeared on the side of a road saying sunflowers and an arrow pointing forward. I'm hoping it's an elaborate ruse just to see if you can get people to follow signs.
A lady walks a grey dog that's so tall and wide from behind. My first thought was, is she walking a donkey?
A classic Citroën glides past made in a time where styling really was everything. It's love at first sight for me as she leaves my life as quickly as she'd arrived into it
15th
A teenage boy wears a bright orange bucket hat with giant googly eyes. I'm wondering what message he's trying to convey
Two middle aged women are talking on a walk in the countryside. One says to the other "Do it now, do it…" To which thankfully only in my head could you then hear "…good, lick this pussy just like you should. My neck, my back …"
Three times a sheep fully extends up onto two legs and eats leaves from a branch. I've stopped and now got my camera fully trained. We're both wearing the same expression after a couple of minutes, namely that was a lot of work for nothing as it doesn't repeat its party trick
16th
A woman is talking on the phone, hand held in front of her mouth and not to her ear which seems to be the fashion for everyone now and annoys me as much as women carrying their handbags in the small of their elbow with their arms held out
A woman wears a tight pink dress topped with a denim jacket proving fashion is cyclical. That doesn't mean It should be recycled in some instances
17th
A man is standing perched over the edge of a bungalow roof. It crosses my mind to do the "don't jump you have everything to live for," joke but if he loses concentration and falls I'm going to have to live with the guilt and maybe more importantly he's holding a hammer and could be a good aim with his throw
I step around a pile of dung so large it could have been laid by a baby elephant. I'm going to walk past the lake just in case it's gone to a watering hole
Three young lads are acting shifty around the fence of a school that's been closed for the best part of a year. Amazingly one says "that's the plan," when I ask if they're planning to break in. They are all genuinely surprised when I tell them to use the giant hole in the fence 100 yards down.
Six bikes go past all being ridden on L plates by people in uniform black like they're on a club ride. If one passes the test and gets a licence do they get thrown out?
A commentator at a gymkhana says well done Hannah at the end of the run and couldn't have meant it less if she'd tried with her delivery
A rider makes her way onto the course and cries out in frustration as the horse applied its brakes at the first fence and refused to jump.
A transit van converted into a horse box drives past spewing out diesel fumes that remind me of my childhood on narrow boats. I don't know how far they have to go but I'm guessing the horse is going to have a sore head the other end
A woman goes to open a car door, turns her head and sneezes eight times in rapid succession. I always thought that was some made up bullshit
Another woman at the gymkhana screams in anguish, this time at the last fence as her horse steadfastly refuses the jump. I'm sensing a pattern.
A young rider comes through the woods like a fucking rocket, flies over the last two fences to finish whilst all the while encouraging their horse and telling them good job. That's where encouragement and reward gets you in this game clearly
A squat Welshman talks so fast that he could be an LP recorded at 33 being played at 45rpm. I know the Welsh have long place names but general words is a new one on me
A large man in a lime green top jogs past. At the top of the road a man in a bright orange t-shirt passes. One of them passed my Teletubbies audition.
A young woman walking across a park wears just a long sweatshirt and flip flops. The rest she's leaving to your imagination
18th
A little girl of about six holds onto a dog lead with a face of pure grimace having been told to hang onto it by the road. She then loses the grip on the hill of a green and falls over. The man with her was not so much a responsible adult as just an adult given he was a few feet in front of her.
A young lad on a bike takes both hands off his handlebars, his bike veers towards the curb and you can visually see the panic in his face as he quickly grabs the bars again and tries to style it out
From a distance of a good 100 metres at 10pm I'm trying to work out why there's a large inflatable clown fish. Only within 20 metres can I clearly see in better light that it's actually a large orange cover on a traffic sign, the white is light reflecting and the black three initials presumably of the company carrying out works. So not a giant Nemo, sad times
19th
A football lays abandoned at the bottom of a path on the hill sat on the edge of the road as if hoping someone will give it a new home despite its shabbiness and beat up panels. It looks like someone had their monies worth from it
10PM and a man in his late 20s is perched against a wall, one leg up, head down wearing dark sunglasses. He looks at his watch so he's not blind. Why he's wearing sunglasses in the dark though I'll never know
6pm and I'm struggling to get my lighter to work and I have the thought people only ever seem to ask me for a light when it's at the end of its useful life. I've not been stopped for a light in years. That is until ten past ten tonight. Sometimes my coincidences are too niche to keep my sanity in check. I'm just glad he didn't ask me if I wanted a toke on the joint he sparked up. Clearly I don't look like a nark
20th
A little boy giggles all the whole being chased by his Grandad. It's by far the best sound I've heard this week and warms the heart and finds a smile on my face
A toddler charges up to his Dad, does a 180° turn and comes half way to me, grins and turns back. Perhaps rather sensibly the Dad lifts him on his shoulders because he's got mischief written all over his little face.
Two women stand at a bridge wearing white t-shirts and dark blue shorts like they're in a very exclusive middle aged women's club with only two members
A woman in a post van glances at me and forces a half smile on her face as if under duress. Behind sunglasses I can pretend not to have noticed. She should have saved herself the effort
A Little black dog has its coat cropped but the hair on its legs and chin are still long giving it the appearance of a brush on a roadsweeper
21st
From an upstairs window a man shouts why are you shooting me? I'm dead!
"I don't give a fuck if she's trans she's still my friend" one teenage girl overheard talking to another
22nd
A field of sheep start bleating for no obvious reason and then they're all suddenly running across a field towards a large oak tree. Perhaps one of them called a mothers meeting
A man is crouched down with the torch on his phone switched on despite him being under reasonable street lighting for half ten at night. Even with my failing eyesight and being twenty foot away I could make out how big the spider was that he was illuminating. Given it was outside a plant shop there's a chance it didn't come into this country with a visa
23rd
A man stands wearing a black baseball cap and sunglasses sporting a rock band beard with a roll up hanging out of the corner of his mouth. He holds a petrol engine hedge cutter in both hands like a guitar which he's busy revving like he's playing a solo
Two girls of about 7 or 8 are wearing bright red lipstick that looks like it's been smeared on. I imagine this is what being on acid feels like as they smile at me passing
A woman in her 50s is dressed in purple and dark pink like she's styled her outfit on one last seen on a Barbie in the mid 1980s
An old white haired lady carries a small dog in a baby sling proving once more I've still not seen it all in life
Signs that autumn is knocking on the door. A giant chestnut tree sits amongst a carpet of crisp brown leaves
"Guys I'm the oldest one here. I know what I'm doing." A pretentious little shit of about 8 talking to three other children
A little girl of no more than 3 eyesballs the whippy ice cream in her hand which top to bottom of the cornet is as big as her head
Three children of about 6 are stood in a huddle. Two have ice creams, the third doesn't and stands with their tongue out trying to move their head closer for a lick but never achieves tongue on dairy. I'd feel a degree of sympathy if it wasn't so funny to watch
A huge white Ford Raptor 4x4 is parked in a cap port which struggles to deal with its vast size like a set jeans trying to contain a middle aged man's spread
A classic metallic silver Rolls Royce glides past complete with an original GB plate on the back. The very essence of a grand tourer
Attached to a garden fence a sign for Hymns and Pimms. As an atheist and recovering alcoholic my first thought is do fuck off
Three teenage girls walk with the Proclaimers 500 miles blaring from a phone off into town. Another kilometre to go and at least another six plays on repeat at their current pace
A covers band at a beer festival are murdering Pharell numbers. Beer goggles I believe are a thing, I'm not sure any amount of beer can make someone sing in key and time to the human ear though
A tiny toy hephalump lies crestfallen and abandoned in a car park. I'd take it home if it wasn't for the chance it may be rescued by its owner in the morning
A small trolley appears to have been eaten by a small bush
A black cat climbs down the roof of a car over the front window and onto the bonnet and sniffs the window washer. Reminds me of when I used to drink on nights out
A hospital patient sits on a park bench in just a gown. I'm not sure if it's like a Scotsman wearing a kilt underneath but I'm hoping there's no sudden gust of wind to find out
24th
A young boy comes down a grass hill on a scooter one hand clutching his mobile phone like an accident waiting to happen
A woman in yellow dungarees is crouched in an old red phone box converted into a library. I'm jealous firstly because my legs don't allow me to crouch, second I have claustrophobia and lastly my eye sight is that bad that there's not enough room for my head to go back to even read the titles on the cover sleeves
A woman walks two tiny whippets that have bells attached to their collars which make them sound like a mini Santa is about to rock up and deliver presents. The taller one of the two has the thinnest legs of any animal I think I've ever seen. The last time I saw legs that skinny was on my daughter born seven and a half weeks premature
I'm wondering how bad your life is when you're riding a mountain bike in your mid 40s drinking a can of Stella at 3pm
A young boy wears a Ronaldo shirt which I mention only because if you see kids wearing shirts from other countries they'll be Messi Inter Miami shirts
A man walks with his legs in such a way that I can't tell if he's drunk, shit himself or maybe both
25th
A man stares over the side of a bridge like a child playing pooh sticks. He'll have some wait with a bed of no water and overgrown with greenery
A woman holds the underside of the boot of a Ford Focus loaded with the weight of two mountain bikes. Bonne chance on pulling that panel back out when it gives way
A red kite circles the midday sky with the minimum of effort only occasionally being required to beat its wings. It's like pure poetry in motion
A classic American pickup grunts it's way through the countryside. It clearly has some torque and power under the hood but the entire body looks like its turned to rust.
A Citroën H van trundles through the countryside. It'll come as no shock I'm sure to find it's been given a new life as a good outlet. Well cliché is a French word
The peace of the afternoon is interrupted by a loud THUNK from behind a tree followed by the beating of wings by a pigeon flying back the other way from where one assumes it's just hit a window
Three baby pigeons are in the road. One chases another and they fly off. The third flies with the most beautiful whistling sound from its little wings suddenly aware it's all alone now
A gull on a roof squarks with a sound as ghastly as fingernails on a blackboard or cutlery on a plate
Dozens of empty kegs are lined up against the wall of the cathedral. #AbbotAle.
A muntjac on the outskirts of town is taking advantage of a quiet night until it sees me and runs up a path where the only escape is through a hedge and into a multistorey carpark. Maybe it drove in who knows?
Three people walk up to a dual carriageway, two are about to continue up to the underpass until the first scurries across all the way over and the other two follow but only make it half way at which point the woman who did make it across turns and sticks both her middle fingers up. Charm school 1.01
27th
A small hedgehog waits patiently at an iron gate at the bottom of a garden but with no one coming to let it in decides to squeeze underneath and carry on its journey
On the outskirts of town I'm thinking that's a large odd shaped cat crossing the road then realise its a badger
Strong winds whip sand off a field track into a mini desert storm
28th
Two muntjacs trot out from a wood across a dirt track and into a cornfield which you can only imagine is about to into a ridiculous size maze for the pair of them which they may be in for hours
On the horizon above the hedge line several large bales of straw float magically from right to left at quite a speed
The heavens open and the sight draws crowds of grown adults to their windows to watch the scene unfold as if they hadn't spent the majority of their summers in England growing up watching rainfall
29th
A little girl jumps in a puddle watched on by a small dog who has a look on its face that says what is this madness?
After a month or more without serious rainfall the first decent downpour gives away quickly what state the paths and roads are in and how dry the ground is with a series of giant puddles right through to a quickly formed lake on a flood plain
Heading west the sun is shining but I'm being treated to a quick shower under the very edge of a big grey cloud overhead. A kindly American woman points out the double rainbow I'd been oblivious too behind me
A man out for a run has stopped to pick up a handful of large cooking apples and looks like he's about to start juggling with them at any moment but sadly doesn't
A child walks up a hill sporting a full size cricket pad on their arm. Just when you think you've seen it all in life
Centuries old stain glass windows of a cathedral rattle and reverberate to the sound of Ce Ce Peniston's Finally. I imagine those set to attend Hymns and Pimms would be horrified
Rain smashes onto the paths and road of a hill creating rivers within minutes. The drains beneath the road roar as the drains struggle to cope with the deluge
See the note about the sunflowers for the 14th. It transpires incredibly ironically that hidden from view behind a thick hedge adjacent to a sign is a field full of sunflowers. Who knew? Well not me clearly
30th
A burly man is clearing wasteland and pulls out a mass of foliage which looks like a giant birds nest several feet high and wide. He's still chuckling as I walk off having pointed out that must have been a bloody big bird to have made that
A lone horse is stood in the corner of a field. It pops it's head over the fence as a hint to make a fuss out of it which I do because I'm going soft in my old age despite being afraid of horses. I get about 40 yards away and it whinnies really loudly as if saying where are you going? Can I come? As it follows me down
A giant tree sits a light yellow in the sunshine and then looks almost brown when the sun goes behind a cloud. There will be a scientific word for it I'm sure. I'm going with - it's magic
The wind batters cornfields throwing the tops around like waves in a giant green sea
On a village field a game of league cricket is taking place in which a small boy is bowling. He looks not much bigger than the stumps at his end but he's clearly got some talent about them as he appeals to the umpire
Having been genuinely surprised to see a Ronaldo shirt the other day, of course I now see another. Oddly though two brothers are playing on a kids roundabout one in full Ronaldo kit, the other in full Messi kit
31st
A small brown butterfly beats its wings desperately flying into the wind going nowhere fast like a metaphor for modern life
A girl on a mountain bike complete with front basket hasn't got the hang of gears yet as in first her legs are going crazy whilst the bike barely moves forward giving her the comedic value of an old silent black and white movie
Two old timers ride two giant Shire horses through the countryside. I feel like I'm in a poor man's western
I glance over at the village pond and am greeted by the sight of two duck bums which sounds like a record Johh Peel would have played
Somewhere way off in the distance deep in the countryside come sporadic toot toots from a steamroller. My inner four year old can barely contain himself with excitement and glee
A blonde toddler in a little blue denim dress thumps her way down a hill squealing with delight wearing a shit eating grin living her best life. She unwittingly provides the perfect juxtaposition to the podcast I'm listening to about how the world is basically imploding.
A woman pushing a buggy makes bleeting noises imitating a sheep
Two nurses dressed like giant ribena berries enjoy a smoke in the midday sun yards from the hospital which will tell you how bad a habit it is
A mother and her teenage son smash empty Budweiser bottles into a bank whilst a man sits on a bench scratching lottery cards. Modern vices in a microscopic view
A tiny boy is walking being held up by reigns looking like a real life Pinocchio. I'm not sure he's old enough to talk and tell lies mind you
Thin streaks of clouds fill the sky as if part of nature's very soul has given up and is looking for a better place to go
A boy getting a carry on his dad's shoulders is unhelpfully playing hairstylist and then tests his old man's patience further as he leans perilously from one side to another
A white dove lays crestfallen on the path of an alleyway. May it find more peace in its next life
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