"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.”
Oscar Wilde.
Miranda Keeling is a published author and observer of everyday life. You can find her amazing work on X @MirandaKeeling. What follows is the poor man's version of things observed through my own eyes. Warning may contain swearing.
June 2025
1st
Four motorcyclists ride past all bobbing their heads like they're at a music concert which makes for a most disconcerting sight given the only sound is of their engines
Quarter past ten and on a side street to a main road into town a large hedgehog ducks down outside a house like a small child playing hide and seek with their hands over their eyes believing they're invisible
A delivery driver in his 50s is sat in his car with arms folded and a look on his face of indignation wondering where it all went wrong
5th
An electric car at dusk drives past with a single strip headlight across the bonnet making it look like a giant mobile Daft Punk helmet
A greyhound puppy in a knitted jumper looks up with a face of utter bemusement at two girls having a play fight thinking whatever the dog equivalent is of what the fuck?
7th
A middle age man jogs through a forest. The top of each calf looks like the knot you mind find on an old oak tree.
12th
From a distance I can see a woman is sat in a car with large bouffant dyed red hair like something you'd have seen in the 1980s. Only it isn't a woman at all. When drawing level it's actually a pale male in his early 20s with a little moustache. It's like someone created a real life photoshopped head or various parts of the 80s.
14th
A man in his mid 20s is stumbling along highly intoxicated and about to do himself an injury. As a recovering alcoholic I'm left in a quandary. Do I help him avoid injury or do I leave him to hurt himself knowing actually the lesson he learns would be far more beneficial?
A small dog escapes from a front door and charges across a green towards me barking incessantly with no comprehension that we're separated by an incredibly busy main road which virtually no one obeys the speed limit on. Thankfully for it's sake the Volvo 4x4 stopped 5ft short of where it had entered into the road
15th
A rotund man makes his way across the green opposite in a t-shirt which matches his skin colour almost perfectly wrongly giving the impression from a distance that he's topless
Mid morning and a toddler is asleep upright in his stroller arms folder behind his head. All that was missing were the sunglasses for looking cool
In a gap in a hedge row sits a larger than normal orange balloon somehow managing to avoid contact with the brambles, but for how long?
A police woman is sat in the passenger seat of a squad car. Her protective vest rides too high like she's just jumped into water with a life jacket on
An old dog in a forest had happily trotted off and was paying no attention to its owner shouting at it. It turned and trotted over to say hello and got rewarded with a salt and vinegar crisp. Two minutes later it's back behind me with a stick in its mouth. I think I made a new friend
16th
An Asian man talks in rapid short bursts of his native tongue that reminds me of scrolling through an old car radio trying to tune into a station
22nd
On the horizon a man is rollerblading with ski poles. On his back a small pack with what appears to be a large broom handle extended several feet above his head. First thought - have I fallen off the wagon and not had the conversation with myself
27th
The temperature is mid 20s. I've a river running down my back from the heat. A man of Asian heritage meanwhile is walking wearing his winter coat zipped up like it's minus 5 outside. I start perspiring more just looking at him
A black BMW drives last emblazoned with stickers on the bonnet which read Barcelona or bust. The driver could always change it to Barcelona or Bury because right now it's bust
30th
On a pavement someone has scribbled in what appears to be black charcoal FUCK OF in big letters. Proof if ever was needed the education system is failing.
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