Skip to main content

Better to ask Mum

Dad, how do I get people to listen to the truth?”

“Wow OK I wasn't expecting that. Normally it's Dad can I have some money? I can do advice… I think… OK hit me with it. What are we talking about here specifically Jessica, give me an example?”

“I don't know. Like online everyone is saying Muslims are really bad people. You see one person saying it and loads of people pile in and agree and some people try to argue the opposite and…”

“And they'd have been better off peeing on their own shoes rather than into the wind and see if it splashed back because it would have been quicker and less painful right?”

“Yeah exactly. It's just so annoying. You try make a valid point and people are like little kids with their fingers in their ears going I can't hear you!” 

“I get that it would be annoying. Look it's just my opinion but if you've got two people on vastly opposing sides then they're simply not going to listen to each other. What you need to do is find those in the middle who might be undecided and hold their hands and walk them to the truth.”

“OK, then how would you do that?”

“Hmmm, how would I do that? I'd ask your mum. Hey don't roll your eyes at me I was just being honest. You want an actual answer? Fine. Well I guess you need to help people know the difference between what is fact and what is an opinion. Because most of the rhetoric you'd read is just that, it's someone's vile opinion with nothing to substantiate or corroborate what they're posting. They're stirring up hatred deliberately to cause panic and fear. They point the finger of blame at a group of people. The irony is that some people are too blind and stupid to see what's under their noses. Take Nigel Farage and Reform as an example. He is or was a banker and he's a millionaire. He claims to represent the ordinary working man, but let's face it that couldn't be further from the truth. He was leader of UKIP who everyone with even half a brain cell had pegged as racists. He disassociates himself from them and basically rebrands himself with Reform but it's the same underlying tone. I don't know if he pays his taxes but he'll have friends who use tax loopholes I'm sure and then go the country is in a financial state because of immigrants. Don't think at all that's it's because we the rich aren't paying our taxes. It's a magic trick. The magician makes you look at one hand which is disguising what is really happening in the other. Make sense?”

“Yeah kinda I guess.”

“Sorry it wasn't a question I was expecting to answer on the fly. I'm waffling I know.  Look, establish what is fact and what is just an opinion, you're a clever girl. You don't have to get into drawn into pointless arguments you'll never win. So you can say to someone well that's merely your opinion, that's not a fact. That will save you a lot of anguish and headaches.”

“Can you give me an example?”

“Ermmm? Sure. Why not? Give me a minute. OK I got one. Search for me how many people died in the 7/7 attacks?

“52.”

“Thank you and does it say how many people carried out the attacks?”

“4.”

“Do you know how many Muslims there are in the world?”

“No. Do you want me to search that as well?”

“No, that's OK, I think it's around 2 billion. So divide 2 billion into 4 and those people who carried out the attacks are representative of 1 in every 500 million Muslims. Do you know how many people are reported to have died during the partition of India, many of whom would have been Muslims?”

“No.”

“What do they teach you in school nowadays? OK well if I remember correctly it's estimated at around a million in total. What's a million divided by 52?”

“19,230.77 rounded up.”

“So it would take 19,231 7/7 attacks to equal the same level of deaths caused when the British relinquished control of India. We could do this same argument with the Great Hunger in Ireland or the famine in Bengal. These numbers even if they're estimates are based on facts, they're not opinions. These numbers are so huge that only estimates can be given because the true devastation couldn't be calculated precisely. They estimated one million people died in Ireland and on top of that two million people emigrated. Ireland's population still hasn't grown back to the numbers before the Great Hunger. Wow OK I guess your Mum making me watch documentaries is actually useful. Do not tell her that though. Look people expressing opinions disguised as facts will do so hoping you don't actually check the facts. If I made a speech in which as part of my diatribe I say …I don't know… how many thousands of people died at the hands of the IRA in England following bombing attacks and then carried on talking without giving you the figure you'd assume I was stating an opinion based on a fact because that's what I want you to believe when I'm saying the thousands. If I asked you now how many thousands of people died when IRA bombs went off in England and you didn't know you might guess right?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“OK so guess for me.” 

“Maybe 3 or 4,000? “

“That's a lot of people right? Way more than the 7/7 attacks. Stands to reason though as attacks were carried out over a number of years and lots of bombs went off. Note I've not corrected you at all. You'll now naturally assume that figure was about right. I'm assuming, or maybe that should be hoping, that you're not going to check that figure. So what should you do?”

“Check the figure?”

“Do you want to?” 

“Kinda, yeah, it's bugging me now because clearly it's going to be nowhere near it otherwise you wouldn't be making the point. Right let me type this is in… OK so it's approximately 1,800 deaths overall and about 500 to 644 civilians. So it was in the thousands.”

“Was it?”

“Yeah it says it right here look.”

“What was the question?”

“How many lives were lost to IRA Bombings in England?”

“What are you reading the answer to?”

“I don't follow.”

“Well read it again. What does it say at the top?”

“Total deaths from IRA bombings in the UK. Oh.”

“Not the question you asked, was it?”

“No. Why does it do that? Give you an answer to a question you didn't ask?”

“Good question indeed. Why does it do that?”

“Oh here we are… mainland Britain so that's England, Scotland and Wales - 125 people. OK I'm starting to get your point. I think.”

“Let's reverse back a little bit. If someone states an opinion that Muslims are trying to take over the UK, how likely do you think it is that it will happen? How many Muslims do you know as an example?”

“Well none that I'm aware of.” 

“OK so here in 2025 you personally don't know any Muslims?”

“No. I just said that Dad.”

“If I asked your friends the same question do you think I'd get the same answer or roughly the same?”

“Yeah I guess so.”

“OK so how likely on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being least likely and 10 being the most likely, how likely do you think it is that Muslims will take over the UK taking into account your own personal circumstances that you don't know a single one?”

“Probably a 1.”

“You can go 2 if you're feeling generous?” 

“1.5?”

“Fine 1.5 it is. So you're basically playing the national lottery scale probabilities of it ever happening. The odds of it actually happening are in the millions to one. This isn't America for starters where weapons are sold in every city. Besides and most importantly Islam is a religion of peace. Fine we had 4 idiots carry out bombings in London but that's 4 people out of 2 billion. You're more likely to die getting hit by a bus than in an suicide attack. There's probably statistical evidence to support that theory but let's be generous and say that's just my opinion to make sure. Did any of that help?”

“Kinda.” 

"Kinda? Well I'm glad I could kinda help. I'll try to do better next time. Good job you never had to mark my homework. Brutal examination. I tried my best.”

“Sorry Dad I didn't mean it like that. So what you're saying is basically I'm wasting my time trying to argue with someone that won't ever listen?”

“Yeah I think so. Bit like why I don't ever argue with your mum. I'll never win so I'll save us both the agro. Right let's say you're person A. You look at the facts and you'll forgive my language and don't tell your mum, but you look at someone way in the distance, person B, who is clearly telling lies and you go well that's bullshit and I want to get them to stop. Well you might be able to but the chances are you won't. That's why I suggested you grab the ones in the middle who are undecided and you pull them to safety instead. Think about it this way, if there's a fire a mile away and you don't have a hose but you have lots of people, a tap with running water and some buckets what would you do?”

“Oh you mean like when everyone stands in a long line and passes the buckets down to put out the fire?” 

“Yes exactly like that. Why didn't I think of that analogy first? I'm sorry. So you're stood at the tap end and the fire is the idiot with the opinions you want to extinguish. So you know you can touch the person closest to you and they'll see the tap, see it's water going in to the bucket and go, well if I pass it to the person closest to me the other side they'll see what I'm seeing and they'll do it to the person closest to them and so on and eventually it passes all the way down the line. So you can instigate change, but it's going to take an awful lot of people and the person who might finally put the fire out is the one already closest to them and not to you who is stood way down the other end. Is your head hurting?”

“A little.”

“Mine too. Like father like daughter. Look the good news is most people aren't idiots. If you're worried about something, do the maths. Say 200 people comment on a post. At which number of people would you start to get worried that everyone feels the same way for something that you think is really dumb and stupid? What's the population of the UK?”

“Let me look. It's about 67.6 million.”

“Really? I'm glad I didn't guess because I'd have said about 52 million. Anyways 200 people agreeing out of what did you say?”

“67.6 million.”

“Right, right, sorry my head is still hurting. That's like 67 million, five hundred and … oh I can't do the maths in my head, lets just say it's a lot of people who need to have their heads turned the other way to start thinking oh this is really a problem and we need to start thinking of a solution. Does that make you feel better?”

“Thanks Dad.” 

“You're welcome honey. Next time if you want a better answer you know what to do?”

“Ask mum?”

“It's what I would do.”

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What's your poison of choice?

He sat and watched intently as the woman on the table opposite sat stirring a spoon slowly round and round the mug in front of her absent mindedly. Even the clinking of metal on the porcelain couldn't stir her back to reality from whatever land her thoughts had whisked her off to. Her gaze on a fixed point somewhere behind him but whilst physically present, clearly she was deep in thought. Usually he'd have made a point to ask her to stop because the noise grated on him but for some reason with her it felt mean for him to do so. Besides in truth it wasn't doing him any physical harm and it gave him the perfect chance to study her face without her being any the wiser. He let out the briefest of smiles to himself as the thought flashed across his mind that he truly is as fickle as the next man. One rule for one, another rule entirely when it comes to pretty women.  Finally on some level her senses must have alerted her to the clinking sound and she looked down at the mug in s...

P is for pretentious and C is for...

Charles Callaghan sat down in his drawing room to partake in his daily ostentatious breakfast consisting only of two black cups of Grand Moka Matari Coffee made by Bacha Coffee served in a Hermés Cheval D’Orient coffee cup and saucer, completed with a print edition of the Financial Times. No one was exactly sure the precise point in time he'd slipped into being an utter cunt, but associates surmised it was probably around the summer of 2003. It hadn't been a laborious process on his part, he found it was a naturally occurring talent, some might even go as far as to suggest it was a God given one. Whichever it was, once Charles had discovered his niche he saw no reason to deviate from his position. If Charles’ behaviour was to the chagrin of his wife Penelope then she didn't demonstrate it outwardly at least. This may have had something to do with her weekly trysts with her horse riding instructor whereby the only thing being ridden was Penelope somewhere into next week much...

Pink candy floss kisses

From the ongoing series of observations from evening walks... Pink clouds hang statically across the horizon like candy floss kisses. A man checks his teeth in the mirror of a transit van, styles it out by saying hello to me and vanishes quickly inside his house. A man on a racing bike descends quickly down a hill living out his Tour de France dreams in his head with every pedal stroke. Another man cycles past with a red dome skid lid on and a yellow bag which says something about 20 litres of water. All he's missing is a coil of rope around his shoulder and he could join mountain rescue. Oh and a mountain of course in one of the flattest regions in all of England. A rather large man with receding hair pushed back into a pony tail slowly shuffles past. If he was yellow he'd look like the character from the Simpsons. I make a mental note to try and remember which one. It's the same mental note I make every time I see the guy and never remember to do it. On the other side of ...