The Eulogy

When I look out at the sea of faces sat before me today it just goes to show what an incredible man Andrew was and how loved and adored he was by so many people. I know each and every one of us here today to pay our respects have been touched by his kindness, his generosity and his ability to bring sunshine to even the greyest of days. I know that my words which I'll readily admit have taken hours of writing and rewriting will never be enough to fully describe what a truly special man he was. They will sadly fall short of doing him justice but thankfully you won't all be reliant on me trying to put into words what an amazing person he was. Thankfully for me you'll all know that from first hand experience and not have to take my word for it. 

Andrew was to put it mildly an incredible human being, they definitely broke the mould when they made him. There's a group of us that have been friends since the very first day of primary school. You'll easily recognise us all if you look around you now, we're the gentlemen amongst you with the greying hair who are all just starting to look like we've seen better days. Can I just say the wrinkles aren't wrinkles at all, they're laughter lines from all the great times we've shared together over the years in which Andrew was always a central part. He was the glue that held our group together. 

Some of you may or may not know that we affectionately called him the priest, not because he was deeply religious, it's because he was the one that everyone turned to in order to spill their secrets. The trusted one who had nothing to gain from telling anyone else what he'd been entrusted with. Andrew liked to help people unburden their woes, he was by his very nature a natural born listener. Rarely did he offer advice, he just offered a nod or made the right noise in exactly the right places. That might sound daft to some of you as a life skill but most of the time in our lives we just need someone to listen to us. If we want their opinions we'll ask for them so why are we all guilty of offering up opinions when no one asked us for them? You'll forgive me if my eulogy carries the soul searching that Andrew's passing has brought with it for me. Andrew, unlike me, was always wise beyond his years. When needed he took you by the hand and led you back onto the path you should have been travelling down. Andrew was our lighthouse that stopped us smashing into the rocks when the seas we sailed got stormy. Although in fact he was potentially like a stick of Blackpool rock, all those confessions heard imprinted down hidden inside him. He didn't pass judgement, yet his moral compass pointed constantly in the right direction. Sure, occasionally you got a look of disappointment from him that left you feeling like a child caught with their hand in the biscuit tin. There were never angry words exchanged though and he never sent me to bed early, well not that I remember anyway. He probably tucked me into bed a fair few times though when too worse for wear after a night out. He'll have wanted you to laugh at my jokes by the way because he was kind like that, so you know, do feel free to laugh. He hated people being sad. To the lady in the fourth row from the back, thank you, I'm sorry I don't know your name but if you find me at the end of the service please let me know what I owe you and I'll settle the bill. 

Andrew has left us all too early. It's important to stress to you all that he wouldn't have wanted you to be left asking yourselves a series of what ifs by the way. What if I'd done this differently or that differently, would he still be here? Every time we lose someone we love we all find ourselves in that exact same situation. We are all guilty of torturing ourselves unnecessarily and he wouldn't have wanted you left feeling that way, not over him or anyone else. Life, it's something that simply happens to us all. It's how he reasoned away setbacks in his own life. The L’s he'd tell you weren't losses, they were lessons and lessons are there to be learned. Sadly no one seems to have told the Premier League this as his beloved Ipswich Town look like they're about to fall back into the Championship after one season back in the promised land. I guess the lesson is don't get your hopes up. Mate if you're listening to this you know we'd have been saying it to your face so don't think you can escape it by leaving the party too soon. Look, none of us know what comes next after we are gone but I like to think that maybe Andrew will come face to face with his hero Bobby Robson and he'll finally have someone who shares his passion for his beloved Blues. Only seems fair to me after all the good he did in this life. Then one day when the time is right we'll all be reunited and only then pick up where we all left off. 

Before you leave today, please take the time to tell those you love why exactly it is that you love them. Make sure they know why they're special to you. Please don't ever leave words that are so easily spoken be left unsaid. Equally if there are apologies that need to be said, then say you're sorry. Life's too short. I told Andrew I loved him, I had no qualms about that. I told him how grateful I was to have him as a friend. I told him thank you, time and time again with the utmost sincerity. I tried to tell him how much I owed him but he wouldn't have any of it. He'd shrug it off like it was nothing. I hope he left knowing it wasn't just nothing to me. To me it meant everything. I'd give it all to do it all again with him. 

There's so many things I'm going to turn to tell him every day only to find he's not there. Never leave words unsaid if they could have been said. Don't live a life of regret. 

If Andrew was here he'd remind you all of the importance of smiling at strangers because you never know when that smile could be the difference to someone's day. Don't worry that some people might think you're crazy either, you're trying to find that one person that it could make a difference to their day. Don't ask people how they are unless you're genuinely interested in knowing the answer. Don't be afraid to ask for forgiveness and learn the importance of being able to forgive. Remember words once spoken can never be unspoken. Andrew would tell you that words can hurt in ways you'll never see. A cheap laugh for you could end in years of hurt that you never get to know about. Andrew taught me so many important things, that sometimes you will need to be the friend that has to tell someone what they need to hear, not simply the so-called friend telling them what they want to hear. He'd remind me that manners cost nothing and how a well timed thank you, a well done or even a simple hug will carry a far greater value for the person on the receiving end than just putting your hand in your pocket. 

Time is the most precious commodity we all have. Don't waste it on hate, find joy in the act of kindness. Let Andrew's passing be a reminder to us all to do something nice every day in his memory and let that be his lasting legacy for us all. None of us will ever get the time back that we waste every day. We could and should all be more like Andrew. Each of us has that very same power to make a positive difference in other people's lives. To do it not because you want people to tell you how great you are, that was never Andrew's modus operandi. He did it because his heart was in the right place. He didn't do it so he'd one day have a church packed with a sea full of sad faces. Knowing Andrew as well as I did, he'd have been embarrassed by so many people here today and wouldn't have understood what all the fuss was about. He'd tell you not to waste your tears on him, that he was nobody special. Sorry old pal but you'd have been wrong. You were special to us all here, you were someone who restored our faith in human nature. You are the blueprint for us all on how to be better versions of ourselves. We love you brother, know you'll be missed everyday and if you're listening to me now thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you did for me. You were true to your word that you'd take all our secrets to the grave. Well with my hand on heart we'd gladly have you spill them all if it meant we could have you back. 

Thank you all here in front of me for indulging me. Andrew I'm sorry for embarrassing you with my words. Thank you all.