A forever work in progress

Despite reaching the ripe old age of 23 Pollyanna McLintoch was a day dreamer. That's not to use that term contextually to suggest that people who knew her thought she was being overly ambitious and setting goals she'd never achieve. No she was in the quite literal sense of the definition just that, a day dreamer, happily spending hours lost in her head far away from the distressing realities of her surroundings. One day during her usual solo musings she'd reached the conclusion that the reason for her love of daydreaming was rooted from her parents inexplicable decision to give her a name that made her sound like she was named after a character in a 18th century Russian fairytale. Therefore she reasoned to herself that it was only natural that she fulfil a pursuit which had surely been her destiny since birth.  During other such musings Pollyanna had surmised that all English children have it coded into their genetic DNA that from the time they can speak their first words ...

Despite her diminutive 5'2" frame Louisa Harwell was a force de jour with a seemingly unbreakable spirit. Blessed with a natural charm, it left anyone who came into contact with her feeling that despite everything that's clearly wrong with the world, maybe it wasn't such a bad place after all if people like Louisa existed. She gave people hope. Louisa was the lighthouse that stopped you smashing into the rocks and being sunk on the darkest, stormiest of nights. Usually all it took was her beacon of a smile to make even the most guarded and jaded of people lower their walls and let her into their inner sanctuary. Your life instantly felt better when she was in it. She was the extra spoonful of sugar in your tea making everything feel sweeter. If she had a pound for every time someone asked how tall she was, which is actually to say how short she was, she'd have been a very rich woman. Despite her lack of height Louisa wasn't one of those women who gave the metri...

“It's far easier to remain an enigma than try to appear to the rest of the world like a fully rounded individual like the majority of people we all encounter in our everyday lives. The type of people who at least endeavour to keep up with the pretence and charade of living that way.” “Is it possible that for once in your life you could say a sentence which a normal human being could understand? What did you say to your mother growing up if say, I don't know, you were cold?” “Mother, I'm cold.” “Rubbish. You'd have said something like…” her voice tails off as her mind attempts to engage into some level of tangential deep thought that wally chops sat opposite might throw up words wise out of his huge gob.  He's sure he can hear the gears crunching as she tries to come up with a brilliantly witty reply. Push the clutch in he wills her from inside the recesses of his own head, it'll stop the crunching. Finally after what seemed like an eternity to his mind which sp...

"I'm so sorry to disturb you. Would you mind awfully if I take a weight of my feet and sit with you? I seem to have rather overdone it. I'll of course not be offended if you say no but I'm not sure I'll make it to the bench over there," the presence of which he indicates with his walking cane. She glances over in the direction to which he's pointing, looks back, sizes the old man up from head to toe and decides he doesn't seem like a sexual predator and even if he was she was quietly confident that it wouldn't take much to outrun the old timer.  "Yes of course. It's no bother. Please sit down." She watches as he gently lowers himself onto the bench with a delicacy normally reserved by a horologist fitting a tiny cog into the finest Swiss timepiece money can buy. Christ I hope I die before I get to that age she thinks to herself hoping the old man isn't secretly a mind reader. Finally after an agonising few seconds his posterior ha...

"Fffffffucking dog owners!" "Oh hi Gina, sorry I'm late, you look amazing by the way. Oh do I? Thank you that's so kind of you to say." "Yes! Yes I'm so sorry I'm late. Let's try that again shall we?" "Well I'm not sure about the we part. I mean I was here on time l, as agreed and I came armed with smiles, hugs and kisses all lined up to give to you Jack. You brought me, no, wait, you cost me twenty two minutes of my life I'll never get back and then when you finally arrive, a sweeping generalisation about dog owners. I was secretly hoping being that British Jack that you knew how to sweep a girl off her feet." "Oh." "Oh?" "Yes. Oh. You seemed to have gotten the British mixed up with Parisians. The British, well they're more the apologetic type. Sorry. See! Well, no, actually that's a lie. See the only people who identify as British are the Northern Irish who everyone in England would c...

“There are so many important fundamental questions we should be asking any prospective partner in life before we potentially get together. Instead people are just chatting inane shit when they first meet like what's your favourite colour? What do you do for a living? Do you have any pets? And the one you should always make your excuses and leave after, what's your star sign? We may be overlooking those important fundamental questions because they appear, I don't know, too simplistic or maybe… or maybe it's because they're perceived to be something they're not, like… which side of the bed do you sleep on? I mean, two wrongs don't make a right, right? So two lefts won't make a right. Am I right? And if I am right, then the follow up question is how do you feel about sleeping in separate beds and IF…if they're finding it all a bit forward or awkward then you don't need to ask anymore questions because even if you find them physically attractive, ...